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Blogs > Platosgames > Beginning Again

A Change Would Do You Good.
 

Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 6:12 am
    Quoting yesmamallthetime:
    I just can't believe you did not watch football for that long a while! I was not really into sports when I was married but now I am. I became quite the baseball fanatic after the Red Sox won the WS in 2004. Well you can imagine if anyone told me I could not watch the World Series. Ha! I am not sure if I will ever get married again. Heck I can't find anyone who does not want to be anything but a FB or FWB on any dating website.
At times I still don't believe or understand why I stayed as long as I did. Probably was just because I didn't want the kids growing up in a divorced family.

I certainly wouldn't give it up again. Maybe I just got a little wiser. Maybe...
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 6:16 am
    Quoting gardenboy321:
    I'll never marry again... never! lol Once around that block was enough, but I'm not saying I won't find love again, won't fall in love again, I just ain't getting married again. My proclamation of love, and my actions of love should be, and will be my only commitment to whoever it is I decide to love, and whoever it is who decides to love me back.
I think we have the same mindset on this topic. I look at it in the sense of, I don't need a piece of paper to hold me to a commitment. Not to mention the fact, that in a lot of relationships these days, it does nothing to hold the two together anyway.

Love, honesty and commitment should be enough. If it's not, then maybe the relationship wasn't as strong as perceived.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 6:24 am
    Quoting FMAOPLS:
    I was still in high school when I started "going steady" with my ex, and we were both 22 when we married. Way too young. We didn't even know ourselves.

    I thought the first years were good, we didn't have kids until the 5th year, and things started to go really downhill when they were 3 and newborn. Apparently, he expected me to be like His Mother, but had never told me that. Unfortunately, I was much more like My Dad. LOL

    The next 13 years went steadily downhill until I was suicidally depressed. I had denied who I was, what I felt, and what I wanted for far too long - and it was only with the help of a therapist that I realized I had been in an abusive relationship since almost the beginning. We did what He wanted, went where HE wanted to go, saw His friends, ate what He liked, and spent time with His family - for years.

    I recall several incidents which really pointed out to me that we were heading in different directions, when after my sisters and I spearheaded the 1st Family Reunion we had ever had - there was an evening of sitting around a campfire, telling stories and singing. Everyone was there - EXCEPT my husband. He stayed back at our trailer, reading a book.

    I took that as a pretty clear sign (along with all the others) that he really didn't care two hoots about me.

    And his efforts to make me into the person he wanted to be - were kiboshed when I started telling him how I really felt. That was a shock to both him, and our kids - and the beginning of the end.

    Holey Moley - I didn't expect to carry on so long.

    Since we split, in 1997 - I have continued to grow, and flourish, and become an intelligent, usually-confident woman. In short, I left him behind "in my dust".

    He remains the same old asshole. But at least now, he's "somebody else's asshole".
I think more relationships fail, because of the process that you described, then other reasons. Some people have a need to be in "control". When that's really just a fallacy. You can't change someone to meet your needs, nor should you try.

Sounds like you did the right thing, freeing yourself and getting back to being you.

I'm not against relationships. I just don't think either party should have to change drastically to make it work.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 6:26 am
    Quoting  :
Everyone changes to some extent in a relationship. Hell some of the changes might even be for the better. Lord knows I settled down from a lot of my wild child mentality. Could be why I'm still alive. LOL

But the changes should never be forced, certainly not because of one side's insecurities.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
11/2/2018 11:28 am

 First off let me just say that I don't know why some women think that watching Football is a bad thing, trust me it's not as I enjoy it too. And sometimes half time can be a whole LOT of FUN!!

That's what marriage is give and take he controls the tv during the day which I am good with as I am busy doing other things. And at night if there is shows on that I want to watch ( my regular ones) he goes into the bedroom and watches TV in there as he doesn't mind.

One more thing I would like to share is I was always brought up to learn that men are simple creatures and live by a few simple rules.

1 Feed them
2. Give them the remote
3. Let them watch sports
4. Blow them ( as often as they like)
5. Don't NAG!!!!

And I have to say these work for the most part. Marriage is all about communication and talking to your partner and letting them know what your needs are in and out of the bedroom..

I hope you have a great weekend..
Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 12:34 pm
    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    First off let me just say that I don't know why some women think that watching Football is a bad thing, trust me it's not as I enjoy it too. And sometimes half time can be a whole LOT of FUN!!

    That's what marriage is give and take he controls the tv during the day which I am good with as I am busy doing other things. And at night if there is shows on that I want to watch ( my regular ones) he goes into the bedroom and watches TV in there as he doesn't mind.

    One more thing I would like to share is I was always brought up to learn that men are simple creatures and live by a few simple rules.

    1 Feed them
    2. Give them the remote
    3. Let them watch sports
    4. Blow them ( as often as they like)
    5. Don't NAG!!!!

    And I have to say these work for the most part. Marriage is all about communication and talking to your partner and letting them know what your needs are in and out of the bedroom..

    I hope you have a great weekend..
She was a very insecure person. Anything that distracted me from her every moment was a bad thing.

I agree, it's really all about communication and compromise. But it's better if that all happens up front. I wasn't very good at trying more of that when I married her.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


sexysixties2 106F
Ask me for a photo
39750 posts
11/2/2018 2:24 pm

 My first marriage was when I was young and we divorced while I was still young enough to go back to doing everything I did before.

My second marriage ended with me becoming a widow 15 years ago. I really enjoy being able to do what I want...when I want and to be alone when I want.
"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/2/2018 3:06 pm
    Quoting sexysixties2:
    My first marriage was when I was young and we divorced while I was still young enough to go back to doing everything I did before.

    My second marriage ended with me becoming a widow 15 years ago. I really enjoy being able to do what I want...when I want and to be alone when I want.
I'm sure there are some who have great , unfettered marriages. But I'm with you, I do enjoy not clearing my plans with anyone .
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


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