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Lifes Little Problems.
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Lifes Little Problems. As I have spoken of a time or two on here, my is going through a less than civil divorce. She called again last night to talk about it, and of course tell me all about the latest battles with her mother. The problems about settling in to a new apartment. Problems with school. (She's back in college) are just being a pain. Oh, and of course, being short on money.  Seems she always finds room for that one in the conversation. So while I'm wiring her some money, I'm reminding her of how I have tried to teach them to handle the problems life throws at us. She has a tendency, like a lot of people to get overwhelmed with all the little stuff. Trying to figure it out all at once, handle everything with one broad stroke. Never works and she just gets all stressed out, which doesn't help with any of it. Hell, I need to slow down and remind myself periodically of the same thing. So we talked through the items one at a time. And I reminded her of a couple of ideas I came up with years ago, about handling problems. The boulder theory and what I call my F or F theory. The boulder theory is, Life is a series of paths. Occasionally you will find a big boulder in your path. You can either find a way around the boulder, on a different path. Find a way to climb over the boulder. Or, find a way to just blow the damn thing up. The only thing you shouldn't do is just sit down and say..Damn that's a big frigging rock. Unfortunately, this is what my does most of the time. Then we moved on to the F and F theory. In any problem or life drama, there is really only two options. One, you can fix the problem. You figure out the problem, what's causing the problem to occur, and see if there is any way to fix it. If there is, you give 100% effort to working out the problem until it's fixed. If there is absolutely no way to fix the problem..Fuck it. If there is nothing you can do about it, why stress out about it. It's getting you no where, the problem is still there. She's also great at just stressing over all the things she can't change. After talking for a hour or so, we figured out what problems she could fix, and how. We agreed that some of it, just had no immediate solution, or permanent fix..So fuck it. And she exercised her favorite theory, that involves throwing money at the problem. When all else fails, call Dad and ask for money. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx |
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I still find myself stressing at times over things that I have no control over..but for the most part, this always helps me get over the stress. Well ok..deal with the stress. How's that sound? Are you good with stress? Or more of the worry wart? " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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I always take a moment to sit and say "Damn, that's a big frigging rock" but at the same time, I'll be looking for a way around it. Great analogy to teach the kids. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I always take a moment to sit and say "Damn, that's a big frigging rock" but at the same time, I'll be looking for a way around it. Great analogy to teach the kids. Thanks. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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I have rocks in my life and I have made a conscious decision that they are not going away and so I have finally chosen to ignore them and concentrate on the stuff that brings me joy and happiness. Money may solve a few issues but money cannot buy happiness which has to come from within. Plant a garden, pick some flowers- color your world with positiveness  (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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You're fortunate to be in a position to help your daughter out. Love the boulder theory.... We all practice different names of it.. I hope. Thanks for sharing. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I have rocks in my life and I have made a conscious decision that they are not going away and so I have finally chosen to ignore them and concentrate on the stuff that brings me joy and happiness. Money may solve a few issues but money cannot buy happiness which has to come from within. Plant a garden, pick some flowers- color your world with positiveness " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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Yeah, from conversations we've had, I know that you've always found a way through. You're a strong independent lady, with a lot to be proud of. Truth is, and I told my oldest this,(the responsible one), I'd rather pay her bills than have her move back in with me. LOL. Think she's back on track now financially, until the next big catastrophe. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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You're fortunate to be in a position to help your daughter out. Love the boulder theory.... We all practice different names of it.. I hope. Thanks for sharing. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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Your such a great dad and she's very lucky to have you as a father always there to talk with her, and strategize over working out her problems. I am sure she is very grateful that your always there for her..I hope your enjoying a great start to your week.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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Your such a great dad and she's very lucky to have you as a father always there to talk with her, and strategize over working out her problems. I am sure she is very grateful that your always there for her..I hope your enjoying a great start to your week.. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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You are a good Dad with wonderful lessons to teach your kids. I too like the boulder theory. The F and F theory I can relate to as well. LOL Independently Romantic Sounds Better Than Lonely
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I particularly liked Pocogato's picture, which made me think. "and sometimes you just have to build a rock garden around it". You're giving some excellent advice and I LOVE the F and F Theory. It should be just as useful to this 65 year old Grandmother, as it will to my son, and daughter and grand-daughter. Maybe as a sideline, you could copyright your brilliant theory, and then sell it to someone who could create posters (like the famous ones of "Desiderata"), t-shirts, coffee mugs and the like. You can sit back then, and collect all those $$$s. I am fortunate, that my son and daughter have always made pretty good decisions, OR they learned their biggest lesson watching their parent's marriage disintegrate. At the time, I wish I'd had some idea I was "Teaching", though. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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You are a good Dad with wonderful lessons to teach your kids. I too like the boulder theory. The F and F theory I can relate to as well. LOL " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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I particularly liked Pocogato's picture, which made me think. "and sometimes you just have to build a rock garden around it". You're giving some excellent advice and I LOVE the F and F Theory. It should be just as useful to this 65 year old Grandmother, as it will to my son, and daughter and grand-daughter. Maybe as a sideline, you could copyright your brilliant theory, and then sell it to someone who could create posters (like the famous ones of "Desiderata"), t-shirts, coffee mugs and the like. You can sit back then, and collect all those $$$s. I am fortunate, that my son and daughter have always made pretty good decisions, OR they learned their biggest lesson watching their parent's marriage disintegrate. At the time, I wish I'd had some idea I was "Teaching", though. Would make an interesting T shirt eh. Glad you got some use out of the post and the theory. I know it's helped me a lot over the years. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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