Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > SexiSizeHypnotiz > SexiSizeHypnotiz's World.. |
Single 9 years next month...
|
Single 9 years next month... I know hard to believe right? This blog wont be sexually enticing, so leave now lol. This is gonna be about my thoughts and feelings..run boys.."No One Got Time for That on LesbianPersonals" lol...but I dooooo  .I had a great early 20's dating, doing my thing, then when 23, met a man the same age as me (cousin of my friends boyfriend, which actually complicated things) We met and pretty much right away fell for each other and had this crazy love and passion..god the times we had..the days we called into work and spent naked, drinking, watching movies, exploring, laughing..oh to play hookie and be naked all day with someone who adores you..miss that..anyways that turned into a relationship (my first one!!!) We moved in with each other and had this crazy love from the age of 23 till I was 30. Not all things last! I moved out, but with that being said, it was mutual. But we still remained sexually attracted. We still slept together a solid 3-4 years ( he did have girlfriend) but he always told me "even when we break up, that pussy will always be mine" and I think that stayed in my mind. Along with his desire for "pure, good girls" Which I think also turned me to exhibisiton for my desire to always be "desirable" to him. Why?? I have no fucking clue!!! But because I loved this man, I wanted him to always want me. So ya know what happened? I closed myself off from openly wanting to admit I talked to men or dated or ANYTHING as I did not want him to find out, because I loved him and WHAT IF we got back together, I wouldn't be that 'good, pure girl"...So because of that I never wanted to date or let anyone know I dated. And I got pretty fucking good at it. I have not dated in 9 years. I have had a few men Ive met, had some great sex, and connections. But Ive never allowed myself to "like" a guy enough to turn into something more than sex. So here we are 9 years since the split, hes moved on, and I know I have moved on, as I don't love or think much about him..but why oh why am I still fucking "scared" to date or more so let him find out? Hes not abusive if that's your thought..although he prob did say/do things that may not have been the best when we were younger, but that's was 13 years ago. Why do I still have this "need" to be pure? But now Ive got Justin, who I am NOT dating, as I wont date. But he makes me feel like I could date again. But now I don't know how to attract a guy without showing off. You see, because emotionally I closed myself off, I found the way to "get to know guys" was showing off. So me getting to know someone will be me being very flirty and showing off. Now Justin is not on here, so he isn't looking for me to show off I guess. Do you know what he says yesterday.."Brandy I love when you send me pics of you, but its your eyes that get me, I can't stop staring, those just do it for me".. This shocked me!!!! What?? He doesn't want my sexi pics? lol this is so unusual to me. Me and him have hung out several times, so this is a real life situation, not through text. Does this man actually like me? If so, how the hell do I change and not care about being "pure"?? How do I date? This is now becoming exciting and scary to me..all these what if's?? But life is full of "what If's".... I should add just because I didn't openly do stuff, doesn't mean I didn't do stuff. I just got really good at things being on the down low, secrets I guess. There have been 3 men that I've fallen for. All will have special places in my mind, and with them, I think what if.. Ive got lots of stories, lots of secrets and I am finding by blogging it feels good.. Although I am thinking about making a 2nd profile specifically for blogging so I can go in deep on my stories (sexscapades)..Ive got stories that will blow your mind lol..as they still blow my mind.. Ive got way more than you'll ever know lol. Its 5am, Ive only been up an hour, I am tired, I prob make no sense lol. I' ll go shower and maybe prob reread and reword this blog lol or delete, who knows lol. "Beautiful Woman with a complicated soul" "I am a naughty girl, ALWAYS in ALL WAYS" "Sexi Size will Hypnotize Sexi Eyes will Mesmerize" SexiSizeHypnotiz |
|||
|
HA I wrote "wether" instead of whether lol...you'll get that! But yeah, this guy emailed that after 2 emails when I realized I wasnt interested and he responded that he has a real life unlike someone who blogs. Whatever..yeah I have time. I am not out hurting anyone, I am content. And this is like public so to speak..I liked diaries growing up..idk, it feels familiar when I write. "Beautiful Woman with a complicated soul" "I am a naughty girl, ALWAYS in ALL WAYS" "Sexi Size will Hypnotize Sexi Eyes will Mesmerize" SexiSizeHypnotiz
| ||
|
Complexity. This is true. I'll get there. But sharing is caring right lol  ... I really am enjoying talking wether people listen, care or whatever. Actually someone emailed me saying I have no life now that I started blogging  .. who knows. I find it helpful."Beautiful Woman with a complicated soul" "I am a naughty girl, ALWAYS in ALL WAYS" "Sexi Size will Hypnotize Sexi Eyes will Mesmerize" SexiSizeHypnotiz
| ||
|
Hey, Lovely girl, I think you should just be yourself - please don't change! If you love to show off, hey - keep on doing it as long as you enjoy it... And he's right about your eyes, you do have very beautiful eyes... I bet he loves your sexy pics too though...! Anyway, what do I know? I've been single for years too...! Simon xxx You've been single years too?! And you live to show off!! Maybe this a pic trend. "Beautiful Woman with a complicated soul" "I am a naughty girl, ALWAYS in ALL WAYS" "Sexi Size will Hypnotize Sexi Eyes will Mesmerize" SexiSizeHypnotiz
| ||
|
Hey, Lovely girl, I think you should just be yourself - please don't change! If you love to show off, hey - keep on doing it as long as you enjoy it... And he's right about your eyes, you do have very beautiful eyes... I bet he loves your sexy pics too though...! Anyway, what do I know? I've been single for years too...! Simon xxx
|
Become a member to create a blog
