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Blogs > chuxter14 > My Blog

Does anyone else notice more flakiness than there used to be?  

chuxter14 50M  
6 posts
11/19/2018 9:21 pm
Does anyone else notice more flakiness than there used to be?

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog, but:

Has anybody noticed that there's more flakiness than there used to be?

When I got into "the lifestyle" ten or fifteen years ago, it seems like I'd make a date with someone, and then we'd meet.

But I'm noticing that, just over the last year or so, I'll make a date with someone, we'll text or chat for a few days before and everything is great... and then "the day of," they disappear. Crickets. As if they were never there!

Does anybody else have experience with this?

I think it's not just happening in the sex world, but even in vanilla dating, too.

Has it happened to you? Why do you think there's more flakiness than there used to be?

Thanks for reading this!

FresnoWoman 53F
Ask me for a photo
883 posts
11/20/2018 10:48 pm

 I've noticed in the last 20 years, as cell phones have become ubiquitous, that few people seem to think you can set plans a few days ahead, and then just show up as planned. Even my friends seem more prone to wanting to confirm by text the day of, and god forbid I should expect to be able to find someone at the Starbucks without the expectation of texting or hanging out on the dating app. So I think the two go together somehow; people seem to be wary of setting plans *firmly* ahead of time and then leaving it be.


chuxter14 50M  
1 post
11/21/2018 8:36 am

 The weirdest thing about flakiness, is how inconsiderate it is.

I have been flaked on a few times recently. The people just disappear on the night we're supposed to meet.

I feel like: It's fine if they can't show up, but I wish they could send me a text and let me know they won't show up, so I can make other plans.

For example, I was flaked on a few weeks ago. It was Saturday night. The person disappeared. If she would have just sent me a one line text, "I can't come," that would have been great. Then, I could have made other plans. I had some friends who were going to a movie, and some others who invited me to a concert. But I said no, because I thought I had a date!

In fact, she doesn't even have to tell me the reason she can't show up. I don't even care if she's seeing another guy! That's fine! I just wish she would tell me she can't show up, so I can make other plans.

I'm sure I have ten zillion of my own faults, but I never flake on anybody.
(Legitimately, there have been times that I couldn't show up on a date -- maybe I was sick, or maybe I had a family or personal crisis -- but I always make sure to let them know hours, or even days in advance.)

I hate flakiness!


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