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Blogs > Angela51758 > My Blog

An Interesting Twist  

Angela51758 66T
11 posts
3/4/2008 9:48 pm
An Interesting Twist

Hi everybody! Especially to those sisters who have been so loving, kind, and understanding.

Here's my attempt at explaining what's been going on. Back in September of 2007 I was diagnosed with avery low testosterone level. As I recall it was around 65. I was prescribed a testosterone gel to apply to my abdomen. I swear it seemed like I had to rub on a gallon a day!

I discovered this group shortly after starting this treatment and I was experiencing the strongest gender identity issues I've ever had. I continued with the testosterone gel through December and part of January. During this period I was pretty wacky when it came to sexual issues and the plumbing wasn't working despite the ttestosterone and other meads. So I decided to stop showering in tester one gel and see what happened.

I entered a very purge phase which I am still experiencing. Rest assured, there is no doubt I am transgender and I understand it much better than I used to but the purge phase is downright baffling.

If nothing else, this is an interesting journey and I look forward to the next phase.

Whatever that may be...

Love to all,
Angela

chrissy31947 77T
292 posts
3/4/2008 10:26 pm

 Hi Sweetie
The purges you are experiencing are most likely tied to some sort of self imposed guilt denial thing. Purges will continue until you come out to yourself.
Coming out to yourself is a very emotional experience, very. Once you can look yourself in the mirror and say for sure you are transgendered and mean it, then comes getting comfortable with yourself. Its a new you, in the old you package. Did I say emotional? It is. Very emotional. At this point don't even think about coming out to others. Let yourself grow into the new you and make yourself comfortable. When you can stand tall and be proud of yourself, the urge to purge will be no more.
I know you don't want to hear the next part, but its true. Trying to do this by yourself is risky at best.This is where a therapist earns their money


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