Today is your lucky day ladies! I've decided to quit working for the man and become your man!!! (That means HUGE! savings for you.)

For the ridiculously LOW price of just one NICKEL, I'll deliver myself to your door, ready, willing, and very able, to help you indulge your WILDEST fantasies.

From INNOCENT pool boy, to the assertive, MUSCULAR masseuse with wandering hands, I'll make your secret desires reality, for less than the price of a piece of bubble gum, what the heck, I'll even do it for a stick of gum.

I specialize in FULL BODY stimulation. I personally guarantee every meeting will thoroughly cover a WIDE RANGE OF EROGENOUS ZONES:

**G-SPOT**
**INNER THIGHS**
**NIPPLES**
**NECK**
**THE SMALL OF YOUR BACK**
**BEHIND YOUR KNEE**
**ALL OVER YOUR BREATS**
**JUST BELOW YOUR TUMMY**
**CLITORAL**
**LEGS**
**ANKLES**
***...AND, SO MUCH MORE!!!***

But THAT'S NOT ALL!!! If you act now, I'll take off a penny every time my lips touch your body.

That's right ladies. Not only do you get to use this totally disease free body in any way that excites you, chances are it'll be TOTALLY FREE!!!

But WAIT, there's MORE!! For the first million customers I'll include 100 FREE SEX LESSONS!!! You heard right, you can learn to be the best he's ever had ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

Everybody likes free.*

*Please see disclaimer in ideal person section below.

My Ideal Person: *This offer is good only for qualifying members of LesbianPersonals. Qualifying members will not have a penis, body hair, sexually transmittable diseases, excessive body fat, foul odor, missing teeth, or poor hygiene.

To qualify, please be intelligent enough to be sexy minded, take good care of yourself, and have a nickel, or be willing to let me kiss you at least five times.

**I reserve the right to be picky and refuse service to anyone I'm not attracted to.

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
I've always had a Mrs. Robinson fantasy. Even before
I saw The Graduate, I wanted to be seduced by an older woman.
I think it's really sexy when a mature woman is confident
enough with her sexuality to be aggressive, turning a non-sexual
meeting into a very erotic one.


That's one, and I held back.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
The beach, A moving vehicle (i.e. car), The middle of a park, An airplane, A dark back alley, A movie theatre, The stands at a sporting event, A remote wilderness spot, Under a waterfall, My desk at work, A swimming pool or hot tub, A store dressing room, An elevator, A hotel room, College Library Stacks

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming, Fetishes, Light Bondage, Candle Wax, Spanking, Role Playing, Threesomes, Slave/Master, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Blindfolds, Leather, Latex, Fisting, Massage

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Fuck celebrity.


This sort of question is exemplary of why Americans are
lazy, reality TV watching, buffet attacking, gut wearing,
brain washed, conformists, who have been dumbed into thinking
their lives will never measure up to the people they read
about in those inspiration sucking magazines like STAR,
and PEOPLE.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I have cybersex quite often.

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