Hello Ladies~
I am a 46 year old woman that has repressed my desire to develop a close friendship with another woman that would include sharing intimancy since I was a young girl. It has remained locked in the perverbial "pandoras box" and was never allowed to reveal itself, and then I found out that there are many woman just like me that have kept those feelings buried and done their duties as a wife and mother very well, but always wondering and perhaps even hoping for a chance encounter with another feeling the same way.
So, I haven't been married for 7 years now and rebuilt my life after the divorce to a place of peacefulness and tranqulity purchasing a home, raising 3 wonderful children, and making sure everybody else is happy around me. I have casually dated 2 men that have been part of my life for many, many years during that time as well, but have finally given myself "permission" if you will to seek out and explore the possibility of either a lesbian or bi-female friendship and intimate relationship.
I am without a doubt a "girly girl" and find myself attracted only to other females that are that way as well. Nothing personal, just my prefernce and since I have finally "allowed" this potential relationship to occur and be lived, I am sticking to what I have found beautiful and attractive all of these years and that would be a woman that cares what she looks like before leaving the house with beautiful eyes, a great smile, fun personality , and exceptional hygene habits. She would be an average sized woman and not obese much like myself . I am 5'6 and a size 12-14 . She would be discreet and not flamboyant about her sexuality and be an honost, funny, loving person with a good head on her shoulders, able to carry on intellectual conversation and she would want to respect herself and our friendship/relationship enough to only be seeing and sharing intimacy with me. I am a woman that loves to be handled gently and enjoys touching and being touched, cuddling, massages, showers together, bubble baths, and ultimately bringing pleasure to the woman I am with. I have played this out many times in my head throughout my late teen & adult years and would never fail to become extremely turned on while playing it in my mind, but have never so much as even kissed another woman in my life. And only recently realized that I will be doing myself a major injustice by not seeking out this woman of my dreams and allow this to happen in my world and seeing where it all leads to. I no longer seek the companionship of a male, but long for the friendship and intimacy with a female.
I adore walks either in the woods, or on a beach, I work out on a fairly consistant basis and continue to take back my body and sculpt it so that I feel sexy like I did before three pregnancies. I love animals and share my home with 4 dogs, 3 cats, 1 rabbit, a fish and two african frogs. Everything here is spayed or neutered and has been from a rescue. My home is very clean and my animal "rooomates" are very well behaved and clean as well. I love taking day trips, fall color drives, and explore quaint towns and areas. I am very much a friendly, "people person" and have no problem stiking up a conversation with a stranger so that I can continue to learn about other places and the reasons why people love living there.
I have worked in the emergency medicine world for almost 30 years and love my work as much now as I did the first day I started doing it. It was my destiny to care for others in need. But my personal life suffered because of my need to "rescue" people and I made poor choices for my partners in maririage. Since those mistakes I have recognized that I need to choose "healthy" people to share my life with, not those with alot of drama and chaos in their lives. I have realized that I cannot "fix" or "save" the world. I can only control my self and the my immediate surroundings which is why I strive for relaxing , zen like, calm, peacefulness in my home and with the people I choose to spend time with. I have enough excitement and drama when I work checking it at the door when I come home.
I also enjoy planning and preparing nice meals and then enjoying them by candlelight with a glass of wine and great conversation.
I hope I have described enough about myself here to give anyone reading this a pretty good idea of where I am at and what I am hoping for.
I am very healthy and have only had a few sexual partners ( men...), never an STD, and not prone to any other female health issues. As I stated earlier, I am very clean and would expect the same with my partner should this become a reality.
I am looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life and answering unsolved questions I have longed to find out about myself all of these years and share my love and passion for life with my new friend.