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Older widower, learning to yield to cravings of various sorts. Are you a domme? The desire to submit arises. Are you quiet? I can sit by your side as a friend and hold you. But the truth: I will be thinking about your skin and the sensuality of it. Do you love to kiss and be kissed? So do I. Are you sometimes a sadist. I could sometimes be your masochistic pet. Do you like to flirt and tease and withhold for a long time? Ah, delicious waiting. Would you want the touch of someone who would honestly love you? Take my hand, or that which you desire most to take. My heart will be attached, being with you. And this what takes us to the depths which are also the heights.

I've decided to add to my profile after thinking about it. I am one of a million guys out there. You want to know about me, not another cardboard male. I have also always been of the opinion that one cannot make oneself something one is not. If I am not your cup of tea, the most wonderful prose, bull-full comments and touched up photos will not make any difference. If I meet you, I'd rather you be pleasantly surprised than darkly disappointed. Still, I am going to set out some things.

In my last relationship, with a woman close to my own age, and with a lifetime of experience, she told me more than once of two things she found in me. One was that I really do listen. The other is that no man ever made her feel so completely a woman in bed as I did. We are still friends. A two a half year relationship prior to that one garnered similar comments, not as effusive, but in our continued friendship, even as friends, I still hear from her similar comments. But we move on for whatever reasons.

I am a widower. Which means, at the least, that I have lived through grief and recognize how short life really is. So, I am not a child. (Ok, sometimes I can be silly and some other things indicative of youth.) Also sometimes naive, gullible, etc.

We are all quite different. I suspect that seven or eight out of ten guys who e-mail are 40 something stud muffins. I appreciate that, but I have never in my life really taken the neanderthal approach. It's just not my style. But each to his own. I an not denegrading someone else's talents. I really mean each to his own. Because what arises out of the chemistry between two people is unique to the two. It is, like someone once told me, pair specific. You affect me one way. You affect another in another way.

I guess for some it takes a little time to learn that one man's meat is another's poison. Still, if love of affection, giving and taking, the ability and desire to listen and please, to enjoy sensuality in a variety of ways is your cup of tea, let's have a sip together.

My Ideal Person: My ideal person (even if there is one, because that is too great a burden for anyone) would probably be the one with whom words, feelings and actions ebb and flow in fun, enhancement of each other's lives so that out of the ensuing relationship we both feel more alive. And in the meantime, in can be great fun.